CHAPTER EIGHT


I waited in the bathrooms, like any other set-up and a part of me cringed at
the lack of creativity. However…I was backed in a corner. If I waited and
approached in the open, Chance Evans's DEA nose would twitch and he'd go
hunting. He'd sniff out information that neither of us wanted shared.


So my other alternative: the bathroom.


And she always needed to go to the bathroom. She was notorious for it and it
was only twenty minutes and after a few puzzled glances from customers before
she pushed through the door. She bypassed me without a glance and visited the
stall. When she was done, as she bent over the sink to wash her hands—she looked
up, automatically, and there I was.


In her reflection, but there I was.


"Maya!" She gasped and whirled around, pale, and shaken.


She'd always been like that, but I knew what else tormented her inside.


I knew better than anyone else.


"Lily." I murmured.


Lily Galverson.


Her story had been kept in secret. Daughter to Sal Galverson and lover to
Chance Evans. She'd helped bring her father to justice—helped with everything
Jace Lanser had murdered for.


"What are you doing here?" She asked softly, guardedly.


We knew too much about the other one. We knew each other's secrets and we
were both bonded to remain those secrets.


"I need information."


She relaxed.


I added, "I need to know where Jace Lanser is."


She stiffened.


It was inevitable. I knew she would.


Lily Galverson had loved her father. That was another secret others didn't
know and I doubted that her DEA agent stopped to consider.


Lily knew Jace, but she had known of him as her father's employee.


Chance Evans was loyal and kept strict boundaries.


His undercover's alias had been kept under wraps, even from his lover who he
also worked to his advantage.


Chance Evans had ate, breathed, and slept Sal Galverson's case. It had been
worth the trouble, because he brought him down with only added benefits to his
personal life.


He'd gotten his brother back into his life.


He'd fallen in love with his second target—Lily Galverson.


And his reputation as a handler was now pristine among the DEA.


Jace Lanser was still alive—I was guessing—and both were now infamous in the
DEA and government world.


A daughter's love had been misjudged and forgotten throughout it all.


I knew that Lily loved her father. And I knew what else she loved.


And because of that—I knew what she hated.


And Jace Lanser had murdered Sal Galverson in the end—so when I asked for the
information, it was wrapped in honesty and genuineness.


Lily saw that and she swallowed tightly, a moment, the briefest of brief, and
she whispered with her arms crossed across her body, "I know where he might
be."


"I figured."


"How'd you find me?"


What I'd said was true…Lily Galverson had been kept out of the media circus.
She wasn't the ghost that Lanser was, but near enough.


I was privy to information many weren't and I had known about the bed
activities that had occurred between Evans and his target.


Lily had told me herself before she disappeared.


"When you love, Lily, you love for the duration of time."


It had been a joke between us, but now it was delivered in regret for the
magnitude of it's force and power.


"Yeah." She whispered and looked at her hands. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Maya,
for leaving you…alone with…I'm sorry."


"You got a better life. I knew that when you were going. I was okay with
it."


"Yeah, but…" She looked up. "What you had to do that night, for me…I haven't
forgotten it."


"What was my choice?" I asked, hoarse. I hadn't had a choice for what I'd
done. "You had a chance at a better life. Distracting…it was worth it."


"I know, but…"


I didn't need to believe in the supernatural to believe in ghosts. There were
too many ghosts and regrets that lay between us as we'd once thought of each
other as sisters, friends.


She sighed and asked as she cleared her head from those ghosts—I knew the
look too well—, "Why do you want to know where Jace is?"


"I just do."


"Maya." Lily sighed as if knowing my demons too well. "It's not going to
solve anything."


"You don't know what you're talking about." I shut her up, quickly. "So don't
start, okay?"


"It's not going to solve anything. I know you, Maya. I know that you want to
find him because—"


"You don't know anything. I've changed. A lot's happened."


Lily took a breath and said quietly, "I know that you saw your brother. I
can't imagine…," She stepped closer and reached a comforting hand out. "I can't
imagine what that felt like."


My eyes were steel when I looked back and stated, matter-of-factly, "Yes, you
do."


She flinched and moved back a step.


"You blame Jace for taking Krein away from you." Lily countered back. "And
you were always fascinated with him. Jace is beautiful to look at, but he's
lethal, Maya. You know that and you're still on this warpath to find him.
Why?"


Why did self-destruction exist if everyone just wanted to be happy?


"It's not worth it." Lily said again and shifted back, but cautious. "Maya.
Jace Lanser isn't worth it. He's not going to give you the answers or
self-redemption that you want from him. Trust me. He's a very evil person."


I laughed, ironically, and commented, "And the person you love has him on a
pedestal. How's that for irony, Lily?"


Hurt, she stepped away again. For the third time.


"He killed your father because he was working for your lover." I whispered,
"I don't think Chance Evans fully appreciates the sacrifice you give every day
for him."


"I have a better life now." Lily said in defense, but weakly. "My father
deserved to die…"


What a prophetic saying. A daughter saying that her father deserved to die.
Should any daughter ever mutter those words or even feel those words?


Lily had never been rejected by her father. That was the irony of it all. Sal
Galverson had loved his daughter and nearly worshiped her. Everything he'd done,
business deal and ruthless murder had been for his daughter's future.


Or so said his justification.


He'd never outright walked away from his daughter or had her feel the
distance from a father's love, but she'd been the one who'd decided in the
end.


It had been Lily who rejected her father and still loved her father.


Two dichotomies that should never battle against each other.


"You had it worse, you know." I said quietly.


"What?" Lily frowned, puzzled. "What do you mean?"


"I always knew what Krein wanted or didn't want. It was so in-your-face that
I couldn't know, you know. But…you never had that."


"Oh."


I didn't say anything else.


"You're right." Lily bit her lip, near to tears. "My dad was a good dad,
but…"


He killed, broke the law, and turned it into his personal empire.


No daughter should have a father like that and it had been Lily who had
needed to decide that.


"So if you find him, what are you going to say to him?" Lily pressed, to
change the subject.


I smiled sadly and shook my head. "I just have a question. That's all."


"Does Krein know? He might've sent someone after you, just in case you did
find him?"


"No. I talked to my brother, but…he doesn't know anything about this."


"He might wonder when you haven't been back to visit."


"Really? After nine years that he refused to see me?" I shook my head.
"Where's he at, Lily?"


She sighed in surrender and said, "I'm not sure, but…one of my guys called.
They said that Brian Lanser's coffin was removed and shipped somewhere
else."


"Who called you?"


Lily grinned and remarked, "You know a lot about me, but there are still some
secrets that I'm not telling."


I asked the better question, "Why'd he call about that?"


Her grin slipped off and her back stiffened. "Like I said—there are things
you don't know about me."


"Lily."


"Stop it."


"Lily."


"I said stop it. I'm not telling you." She said hotly.


If I had had a sister—I would've wanted her to be like Lily.


"Maybe you were hoping someone like me would come along and ask for that
information." I suggested. "Or maybe, maybe you'd get the courage to use that
information."


She stood still. Silent.


"Who else knows that information?"


"No one."


"Are you sure?"


"Yes."


"How can you be sure?"


"Oh my god!" Lily erupted, irritated, "Because it was the guy who took the
order of transfer. I had a crush on him when…"


"When you were in Pedlam, but you were never really in Pedlam, were you?" I
teased.


Lily rolled her eyes. "You just get off on the fact that you know more about
my family than anyone else."


"And why do I know all that stuff?" I threw back. "It's not because I went
looking for it."


Lily flushed, guiltily. "Look." She murmured, guardedly, "Let's just…I don't
care if you find Jace and it turns out badly for him. He murdered my father. I
don't give a rat's ass about him, but I'm just worried about you. You're going
to get hurt, Maya."


"I can take care of myself."


"I mean it, Maya. You don't know Jace Lanser. I do."


"Neither do you." I countered smoothly. "You never knew the real Jace
Lanser."


"Oh my god. Does it matter?" Lily cried out. "He lied to people for six years
to people he loved and called friends. Krein!—he lied to his 'best friend.' What
person can do that? Not someone that I'd like to know. And he killed someone in
cold blood. I don't need to know the real Jace Lanser to know that I don't care
if he gets hurt."


I didn't care to argue that point, but… I pointed out, "I lied for years…for
you."


Lily sighed a deep soul-searching sigh.


"Am I a person that you don't want to know?" I insisted. I wanted to know.
We'd started as friends, became sisters, and now—we were strangers with glimpses
to the first two.


Lily had disappeared a long time ago and she'd really disappeared.


There were parts of her that I knew would always be in her, and there were
parts—that would probably mystify me. It took a lot for a person to sleep with
someone, say you love them, when they've delighted in your father's murder.


"Tell me where the coffin is."


"A town called Paynes in West Virginia. The cemetery is called Good
Shepherd's Grace Cemetery." She laughed. "That's ironic, huh?"


"What do you mean?"


She shrugged. "Nevermind."


"Thanks, Lily."


She nodded and blew out a breath. "I just hope that I'm not going to regret
telling you that."


"I hadn't known if you'd really know anything, but…"


I knew that there was a part of her that couldn't not try and find out where
her father's killer was. Lily had a knack for finding herself in a position of
the know. She just didn't do anything with that 'know' which sometimes
saved her and sometimes condemned her.


"You know that night in the diner." Lily started. "That night that Broozer's
men came to kidnap me…I realized, for the first time, that someone who did what
you did, actually existed."


I sobered at the memory.


Two men had entered the diner and I'd known instantly—it was a shake-down.
They were there for Lily. I'd felt it in my gut and I'd also known that they
couldn't have her.


If they had, she would've been dead before dawn's first peak.


So I'd pinpointed their only weakness for two professional thugs. They were
men. And they had one achille's heel that would, at least, slow them down.


I'd played it up, sat them in a back table, and shown a bit more of my
waitress uniform than our policy stipulated.


They'd been torn at first and they'd glanced from me to Lily—who sat in the
opposite end of the diner.


Lily had been frozen in place with her eyes downcast to the soup she'd
ordered.


They figured it was worth a spare minute and took up my offer.


I led them in the back, closed my eyes, and needed to do what I needed to
do.


When they re-entered the diner, Lily had fled, never to be back for another
month, but not alone.


The men had roughed me up, grilling for information. I gave them nothing and
was found in a hospital bed later that evening after another afternoon of their
'fun.'


"Thank you." Lily said again and she'd said it back then.


My hospital bill had been paid by her father's money.


I'd already learned how to excel at poker, so I paid him back within three
months.


I never wanted to be indebted to someone like Sal Galverson, even though I
had befriended his daughter.


That hadn't been the start of how my path criss-crossed with Lily's family,
but it had interweaved more after what I'd done for her.


The start of the path had been when I saw a girl, who looked lonely and
hurting, sitting in the farthest back booth of our smalltown diner.


I'd asked, politely, if I could have my break coffee with her and she'd been
delighted.


That had been the start of it.


Something inside of me clenched at the memory of that night, when Lily had
escaped and I'd been sacrificed.


"I've thought about you over the years." She spoke up, a preamble. "Thank
you. I already said it, but—seriously—thank you."


My innocence had been taken for her life.


It was worth the pain.


"So…are you happy with Mr. DEA?" I asked and shook off the painful
reminiscences.


"Yeah." There was still a shadow that outlined her quick, easy grin.
"He's…Chance obsesses really easy on stuff, but he loves me. I know that. And…,"
she looked over her shoulder to the door, "he's probably wondering where I am.
I've been in here forever."


"Is he going to come in here and look for you?"


"No, but he'd probably pay someone."


"And she'd just tell him that you're talking to an old friend." I pointed out
and hoped that 'she' wouldn't excel at descriptions. "Have you met his
brother?"


"Tray?" Lily frowned and shook her head. "They don't do Sunday dinners if
that's what you're asking. Chance really wants him to work at the DEA with him.
He thinks his brother would be great at their job. Well—he kinda proved that,
huh?"


"What about his girlfriend?"


"Taryn? Another no. I think Chance is a little intimidated by her, to tell
you the truth. It's just the way he talks about her. It's like he's a little
scared and yet—I don't think he likes her at all."


"Makes sense though. She's in his brother's life how Chance isn't
anymore."


Lily chuckled suddenly and shook her head. She grinned, "You always do
that."


"What?"


"See things from such a…you just see things differently than everyone
else."


"It's my talent." I reminded her.


"And it's gotten you into a lot of trouble, remember?" Lily pointed out.
"Just…be careful with you say to people, okay? You see inside of people when
most people don't want you to see inside of them."


She quieted and asked again, "Why do you want to find him? Just tell me."


I shook my head, irritated, and cried out, "Why this again? You, of all
people, should understand."


"I do understand. I really really do." Lily insisted and grabbed my shoulders
to look me in the eye. "But I know what it's going to cost you. You don't get
that or you don't care. Do you want to hurt him for taking Krein away? Because
Jace didn't do that. Yeah, he can weave some addicting power, but your brother
is the one who fell for it. Your brother left you, not Jace."


"He killed your father and you're defending him?"


"I'm not defending Jace Lanser. Ever. I'm just pointing out something to help
you let go of this demon inside of you."


"Lily." I said firmly and pushed her away. "Stop it. You left me, okay? You
were the first person that I started to depend on and you ran away. You don't
have any say into what I do anymore."


"And yet I'm good enough for you to pump for information."


"I figured I'd get the information from you more than anyone else, yes. I
figured you'd probably know and you'd probably tell me—because you owe me! You
owe me more than one night I saved your life."


She closed her eyes, shook her head, and turned away.


"When I left that night…" Lily started, "I didn't mean for you to do what you
did."


"What else would've worked?" I pointed out, harshly.


Lily took a deep breath in and let it back out, slowly. She hung her head,
"I'm sorry. I really am. I love my family, I still do, but I don't regret
leaving them. I regretted leaving our friendship."


Our sisterhood. That's what we'd laughed about and whispered at times.


We'd been the other's rock in a world of lies once upon a time.


That was before Cherry, Gray, and Kai. That was before I found another
'family.'


Lily scrunched up her face and exclaimed, "How'd you know I was here?"


Busted.


"How'd you know that I would be here, at this time?" She caught the guilt
flash in my eyes and pressed, "What'd you do, Maya?!"


Understanding finally dawned in her eyes and she connected the blatant dots
to form the truth.


"You're who Chance was meeting today, weren't you?" She reeled back in shock,
but really—how obvious had it been? "Oh my gosh…you picked the place because you
knew it was my favorite coffee shop."


I had used her and I had used her lover's love for her.


"Yes." I admitted.


Lily shook her head in disbelief. "I told you that years ago. I told you…I
only told you, like, twice that I loved this place."


I held her gaze and said, forthright, "I know you, Lily. When you love
something—someone—you always love it."


I had exploited my friendship that had once been dependable, sacred, and
turned regretful with too many pains. I exploited that friendship to get where I
needed to go.


That wasn't my compassionate side.


And my compassionate side felt a little guilty at not feeling any guilt.


"I'm sorry." I murmured.


"No, you're not!" Lily whipped back. "You're not sorry at all. I can't
believe you, Maya. You used the man that I love and who loves me. You used him
to get to me."


She shook her head, "I just can't believe…I never questioned it, why you were
in here. I just…I was shocked, but …." She looked up, damning me. "I was happy
to see you. I was just happy, Maya, that I didn't want to question it."


I was silent. No words could soften the justification of her words. I had
exploited her love, Chance's love, and I didn't care. Not anymore.


"I take it all back. I don't care what happens when you find Jace."


There was no question in her voice.


She continued, "I don't care anymore. At all."


And she stormed out the door. As it swung shut and bounced back and forth
until it settled in place—I stood long enough for one breath.


Lily wouldn't tell Chance what happened or what she'd given to me because
that was her secret from him.


Lily was more connected than Chance Evans realized. He thought of her as a
precious bundle to love and protect. He didn't stop to consider the smarts that
she'd inherited from Sal Galverson.


Someday, Chance Evans would realize how smart and potent his fragile flower
was and it may not end well.


Until that day, I was safe from Chance Evan's too-knowledgeable and
too-seeing eye.


I'd slipped under his radar because I knew a few more secrets of Lily's just
as she knew mine.


Sometimes…I could be a very scary person. Sometimes, I scared myself and
other times, I felt like I should be scared when I wasn't.


I stood there for one breath—just one—and then I slipped out of the
bathroom's window.


As I dropped down to the dumpster, I tucked the city and state into the back
of my mind—along with the knowledge that I was following the trail of a coffin.
Someone had died before me and it was possibly metaphoric that my trail will
lead me to a cemetery.


I knew where the trail would go so maybe it wasn't metaphoric after all.


It was enough for me because I knew the next stop along the way.