A few My Anti-Hero deleted scenes.
Copyright © 2024 by TIJAN
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without written permission from the author,
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
These were deleted and taken out for reasons.
Only read the book as it is and remember these were NOT included.
A different scene before Brett and Billie go together to his brother's hotel room.
He came down over me and held himself still. A few inches from me, eyes searching my face. His breath teased me, and then suddenly, a deep sigh left him. He relaxed, slowly lowering himself down to me, and he laid there, his nose burrowing into my neck.
I hadn’t known for sure what to expect, but I wound my legs and arms around him and held him tight. So tight.
Brett didn’t think of himself as any kind of hero. He thought of himself as the opposite, but he was wrong. He was so wrong. He cared for the people in his world. He protected them. He looked out for them. He would do anything for them, and he’d already shown me time and time again the lengths he would go for me. Fighting for me. Risking his life for me.
And now here we were, about to go in and see his family. Part of his family. The good ones, the ones who healed the others. Brett hadn’t shared it specifically, but I could tell he didn’t feel a part of the good group. He felt he was still on the other side, standing with the ones who hurt people, but he was trying to help the good ones with what he could do.
He was everything, and he had no idea.
He ran a hand down my side, down my leg, tightening it around his waist. He nuzzled into my neck, murmuring, “You feel so fucking good.”
I felt good, not exactly the way he meant it at the moment, but I felt safe.
I felt content.
He did that. He’d made me feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“Brett,” I breathed, but he pushed himself up.
Maybe he knew what I was going to say because he looked away. His jaw clenched before he pushed himself all the way up. “We should do this. Get it over with.”
I frowned, feeling him pull away both physically and emotionally. I felt the walls closing around him.
I scrambled to the edge of the bed. “Hey.” I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. His eyes were clouded. There was a storm gathering inside of him, and he was closing me out. “Don’t do that,” I added, sharply.
He frowned.
“I’ve put you through hell over the last few weeks. Me. That was my life and you were there every step of the way. You were beside me, and you were fighting for me. Do not, and I repeat, do not take away the chance for me to do the same. You want this?” My hand dropped from his chin and motioned between us. “Then you let me in. You got me?”
A flash sparked in his gaze, dark amusement and something else, something intense, and he moved back to stand between my legs. His hands slid up the inside of my thighs, all the way up until he was pressing where I loved feeling him inside of me.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” he murmured. “It’s reflex, dealing with my family.” He kept rubbing me, and he slipped the other under one of my ass cheeks. He palmed me, lifting me up. I squeaked as he yanked me against him, his hand squashed between us. “You’ve not met my twin or my sister, and honest to God, Billie, I hope you never have to. But what you’re going to meet is the aftermath of them. What they leave behind in a trail of wounds and tears and pain. You being you, because of how you’ve lived, you’ll see right through all the smiles on my girls. Georgie, he’s my little boy, because I’ve decided they’re not just my nieces and nephews. They’re mine too. They ain’t Shannon’s anymore. If Will ever fumbles the ball, I’m going to be right there to pick it up, and Shannon won’t fucking know who’s going to hit her until I’ve ground her into the earth. You’re going to see how big their hearts are, and you’ll see how she’s hurt them. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but I know you will. You got some magic ability or something, and that’ll hurt you because sure as shit, you’ll know there was a time when one or both of them hid under a bed at night. It might take you back to the night you had to hide under a bed.” He expelled some air, breathing ragged. “I don’t want you to feel anything except love and sunshine in that room when we go see them, but I know you’re probably going to be feel ripped open by the end of the night.”
Oh yes, indeed. He was just everything.
I tipped my head back so I could see all of him, from his beard to the ghosts in those eyes of his. I reached up, wanting to smooth them away. “Tonight it’s not your place to worry about me. You got me? It’s my turn to stand by you.”
I touched his chest, feeling his heartbeat, and after a moment, he covered my hand with his. “Okay,” he whispered.
I was the one to push him back, gently. I was the one to look around the room, make sure we were ready to go.
I checked our phones. His wallet. My purse. The hotel keycard.
Then I took him by the hand, and I walked him out.
His hand tightened around mine, and we went to his family’s room.
I hadn’t known for sure what to expect, but I wound my legs and arms around him and held him tight. So tight.
Brett didn’t think of himself as any kind of hero. He thought of himself as the opposite, but he was wrong. He was so wrong. He cared for the people in his world. He protected them. He looked out for them. He would do anything for them, and he’d already shown me time and time again the lengths he would go for me. Fighting for me. Risking his life for me.
And now here we were, about to go in and see his family. Part of his family. The good ones, the ones who healed the others. Brett hadn’t shared it specifically, but I could tell he didn’t feel a part of the good group. He felt he was still on the other side, standing with the ones who hurt people, but he was trying to help the good ones with what he could do.
He was everything, and he had no idea.
He ran a hand down my side, down my leg, tightening it around his waist. He nuzzled into my neck, murmuring, “You feel so fucking good.”
I felt good, not exactly the way he meant it at the moment, but I felt safe.
I felt content.
He did that. He’d made me feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“Brett,” I breathed, but he pushed himself up.
Maybe he knew what I was going to say because he looked away. His jaw clenched before he pushed himself all the way up. “We should do this. Get it over with.”
I frowned, feeling him pull away both physically and emotionally. I felt the walls closing around him.
I scrambled to the edge of the bed. “Hey.” I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. His eyes were clouded. There was a storm gathering inside of him, and he was closing me out. “Don’t do that,” I added, sharply.
He frowned.
“I’ve put you through hell over the last few weeks. Me. That was my life and you were there every step of the way. You were beside me, and you were fighting for me. Do not, and I repeat, do not take away the chance for me to do the same. You want this?” My hand dropped from his chin and motioned between us. “Then you let me in. You got me?”
A flash sparked in his gaze, dark amusement and something else, something intense, and he moved back to stand between my legs. His hands slid up the inside of my thighs, all the way up until he was pressing where I loved feeling him inside of me.
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” he murmured. “It’s reflex, dealing with my family.” He kept rubbing me, and he slipped the other under one of my ass cheeks. He palmed me, lifting me up. I squeaked as he yanked me against him, his hand squashed between us. “You’ve not met my twin or my sister, and honest to God, Billie, I hope you never have to. But what you’re going to meet is the aftermath of them. What they leave behind in a trail of wounds and tears and pain. You being you, because of how you’ve lived, you’ll see right through all the smiles on my girls. Georgie, he’s my little boy, because I’ve decided they’re not just my nieces and nephews. They’re mine too. They ain’t Shannon’s anymore. If Will ever fumbles the ball, I’m going to be right there to pick it up, and Shannon won’t fucking know who’s going to hit her until I’ve ground her into the earth. You’re going to see how big their hearts are, and you’ll see how she’s hurt them. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but I know you will. You got some magic ability or something, and that’ll hurt you because sure as shit, you’ll know there was a time when one or both of them hid under a bed at night. It might take you back to the night you had to hide under a bed.” He expelled some air, breathing ragged. “I don’t want you to feel anything except love and sunshine in that room when we go see them, but I know you’re probably going to be feel ripped open by the end of the night.”
Oh yes, indeed. He was just everything.
I tipped my head back so I could see all of him, from his beard to the ghosts in those eyes of his. I reached up, wanting to smooth them away. “Tonight it’s not your place to worry about me. You got me? It’s my turn to stand by you.”
I touched his chest, feeling his heartbeat, and after a moment, he covered my hand with his. “Okay,” he whispered.
I was the one to push him back, gently. I was the one to look around the room, make sure we were ready to go.
I checked our phones. His wallet. My purse. The hotel keycard.
Then I took him by the hand, and I walked him out.
His hand tightened around mine, and we went to his family’s room.
A different scenario and conversation about when Will tells Brett about Stevie.
I frowned. “Yeah. Why?”
“You might not want to be driving.”
Flashing lights came up behind me, and I grimaced. I’d forgotten to wait for my escort. They’d been sending a single car to follow me to the stadium and back each day as an extra precaution. “Will, just fucking say it.”
“You know how Stevie’s a bank vault?”
I cursed. This wasn’t going to go in a good direction. I pulled over into a parking lot, letting the engine idle. “What happened?”
“Well, she finally cracked open and the shit—” His voice broke.
Fuck.
He cleared his throat. “Shit’s been bad for a long while, a whole long while.”
“Like what?”
He expelled a ragged breath. “Like there’s a reason Shannon taught Sammy to hide under her bed as a precaution. She learned what not to do because of what happened to Stevie.”
Everything in me was turning to granite. “Are you shitting me?”
“No.” His voice broke again. “God, Brett. I wish I wasn’t making this call. I wish none of that had happened to Stevie. I wish, Jesus, I wish these had been my kids from the jump.”
That’d been my watch.
Whatever had happened to Stevie, that was on my watch. Will wasn’t in the picture. I knew Shannon was bad. I should’ve… I pounded my dashboard. “SHIT!” I kept pounding, kept cursing, until there was a sharp rap on my window.
A cop was there, her fucking stick in hand.
I growled, the sound ripping up from the bottom of my soul, and for a moment, I wasn’t me. I was back in high school, running from the cops because Budd had put our asses in the wrong place because he’d done the wrong thing again, like he always did.
Seeing whatever was in my eyes, the cop stepped back, her hand dropping to her gun. “Mr. Broudou, are you okay?”
Mr. Broudou.
Right.
Current circumstances came swimming back to me, and I bit back another savage growl.
Will’s voice filled the truck. “—ass under control. Jesus, Brett! Whatever’s going through your head isn’t helping.”
I ignored him, rolling my window down, and held up my hands. “Sorry, Officer. I…” I motioned towards the screen, indicating I was on a call. “I just received disturbing news from home.”
Her hand remained on her gun as she was looked me over. “Are you able to continue the drive to your place?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you should wait and finish the call then?” The way she spoke, it wasn’t a request. It was an order. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for my response.
I nodded. “Yes, Officer. I can do that.”
“All right then.” She indicated her vehicle. “My partner and I will resume trailing you. You signal us if you need help.”
I didn’t give her another response since she was walking back to her vehicle. Her partner had been on the passenger side, and he joined her. Both got into the squad car before I drove out of the parking lot. Will was still on the line, but he didn’t say anything until I was a few blocks from my place.
“You’re being escorted to your house?”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. A low growl was all I could muster.
“That’s because of your woman? Because of that killer?”
“Stop. Talking.” I gritted my teeth as I arrived at the first gate.
I passed through the second and continued to mine, the last gate.
Then I waited as the garage lifted, and the cops had to clear the place.
“What’s going on?”
I was more under control, but I was so fucking raw right now. “Just wait until I get inside.”
“Yeah. Okay,” Will agreed.
The cops came out ten minutes later. As they passed me, I lowered my window. “I’m finishing this call, grabbing some stuff, and heading to the farm.”
The woman who’d come to my window before nodded. “Okay. We’ll be ready. You know the drill.”
“Shit,” Will said as I pulled into the garage. “The threat’s not being blown out of proportion on the news, huh?”
I turned the engine off and went inside, my phone out and him on speaker. I took the stairs two at a time and tossed the phone on my bed as I grabbed my bag. “Fill me in on Stevie and everything else.”
“Uh. Okay.” His sarcasm was heavy. “Fuck’s sakes, Brett. I am your brother, you know?”
“Will, just—I can only handle so much right now. Peeling down a wall that’s been up for fucking ever can be handled at some other goddamn time, okay? I don’t have time for therapy. Tell me what’s going on.”
He started, and I listened as I packed.
I wanted to rip heads off when he was done. Shannon’s head. My head.
Will kept his tone matter of fact. He was getting through this so I had the information, and we’d both handle it our own way once we were off the phone.
“We’re pursuing charges for the cases that we still can, which is all but a few.”
That alone made me ache, because some limitations were a year, some were three, and some others were five.
“Jesus Christ.”
He sighed. “I know, brother. I know.”
“What can I do to help?”
“The game is in a little over a week. The girls are excited to see you. Your person reached out today about the tickets, so they’re over the moon. It was a good day in our household, and Brett, we needed a good day.”
I felt scraped clean from the inside out. “Yeah.”
The bag was packed. I’d grabbed what Billie would need, because I knew she had forgotten some stuff. She was in the habit of leaving her phone charger lately, and she liked chocolate. I’d grab some from the freezer. I’d started keeping it on hand for her.
I stood in the bedroom, knowing it wasn’t just mine anymore. It was ours, and I ached.
I ached for my niece and my goddaughter, because Shannon had had her at a time when she’d wanted to be close to me.
I ached for Will and his family, for his wife who’d taken on our nieces and nephews and was championing this fight for them.
I ached for Georgie, because we’d not even begun to understand how Shannon had hurt him.
I ached for Sammy, because I knew she was missing her mom. She was confused and having a good time, but also still missing her mom.
And I ached for Billie, because goddamn, how much more did she need to take?
“You okay?” Will’s tone went low.
So did mine. “I will be.”
“Listen, good news is that lawyers are pushing so Shannon can’t get any visitation right now.”
“Yeah?” I was having a hard time holding my shit together, and I was pretty sure Will knew, because he kept speaking in that low tone, cautiously.
“I’m not a complete dick,” he continued. “I know Sammy and Georgie, maybe, would still like to see their mom, but in light of Stevie’s revelations, they’re sure the judge will grant them what they’re asking. Her lawyers will go crazy, but it’ll be good in the long run. I also talked to Monroe.”
That helped clear through some of the pounding need for violence pushing in on me. “Channing?”
“Your guy, yeah. I gave him a tiny rundown on what’s going on, and he said a buddy of his could reach out. He thinks an investigation might be launched into Shannon, to see what she neglected to do et cetera. His buddy could help us prepare for what that might look like.”
“Stevie needs to go to therapy.”
He got quiet again. “I know.” His voice went a bit hoarse. “We might need help with that—”
“I’ll pay for it all. I don’t give a fuck.”
“No, I meant that you’ve had a longer relationship with her. She’s your goddaughter. A conversation between you two might help her be okay seeing a therapist. Right now, she’s closed to that option.”
“How closed?”
“She’s not even acknowledging there’s a door. She just keeps circling the basement, pretending she’s already outside and everything is sunshine.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to her.”
“That’ll be helpful, and we can see how insurance pans out. If we need help with those bills, I’ll reach out. Lawyer bills are expensive.”
I snorted. “No shit. Really?”
He cursed, but I heard a smile in his voice. “Don’t be a dumbass.”
“Noted.”
He bit out a laugh. “Go take care of your woman.”
“On it.” I picked up the bag and headed back downstairs.
“And Brett?”
“Yeah?”
“Be safe.”
I paused before grabbing the door handle for the garage. “Always.”
I ended the call, stuffing my phone in my pocket, but before getting in my truck, I went back for the chocolate.
“You might not want to be driving.”
Flashing lights came up behind me, and I grimaced. I’d forgotten to wait for my escort. They’d been sending a single car to follow me to the stadium and back each day as an extra precaution. “Will, just fucking say it.”
“You know how Stevie’s a bank vault?”
I cursed. This wasn’t going to go in a good direction. I pulled over into a parking lot, letting the engine idle. “What happened?”
“Well, she finally cracked open and the shit—” His voice broke.
Fuck.
He cleared his throat. “Shit’s been bad for a long while, a whole long while.”
“Like what?”
He expelled a ragged breath. “Like there’s a reason Shannon taught Sammy to hide under her bed as a precaution. She learned what not to do because of what happened to Stevie.”
Everything in me was turning to granite. “Are you shitting me?”
“No.” His voice broke again. “God, Brett. I wish I wasn’t making this call. I wish none of that had happened to Stevie. I wish, Jesus, I wish these had been my kids from the jump.”
That’d been my watch.
Whatever had happened to Stevie, that was on my watch. Will wasn’t in the picture. I knew Shannon was bad. I should’ve… I pounded my dashboard. “SHIT!” I kept pounding, kept cursing, until there was a sharp rap on my window.
A cop was there, her fucking stick in hand.
I growled, the sound ripping up from the bottom of my soul, and for a moment, I wasn’t me. I was back in high school, running from the cops because Budd had put our asses in the wrong place because he’d done the wrong thing again, like he always did.
Seeing whatever was in my eyes, the cop stepped back, her hand dropping to her gun. “Mr. Broudou, are you okay?”
Mr. Broudou.
Right.
Current circumstances came swimming back to me, and I bit back another savage growl.
Will’s voice filled the truck. “—ass under control. Jesus, Brett! Whatever’s going through your head isn’t helping.”
I ignored him, rolling my window down, and held up my hands. “Sorry, Officer. I…” I motioned towards the screen, indicating I was on a call. “I just received disturbing news from home.”
Her hand remained on her gun as she was looked me over. “Are you able to continue the drive to your place?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you should wait and finish the call then?” The way she spoke, it wasn’t a request. It was an order. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for my response.
I nodded. “Yes, Officer. I can do that.”
“All right then.” She indicated her vehicle. “My partner and I will resume trailing you. You signal us if you need help.”
I didn’t give her another response since she was walking back to her vehicle. Her partner had been on the passenger side, and he joined her. Both got into the squad car before I drove out of the parking lot. Will was still on the line, but he didn’t say anything until I was a few blocks from my place.
“You’re being escorted to your house?”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. A low growl was all I could muster.
“That’s because of your woman? Because of that killer?”
“Stop. Talking.” I gritted my teeth as I arrived at the first gate.
I passed through the second and continued to mine, the last gate.
Then I waited as the garage lifted, and the cops had to clear the place.
“What’s going on?”
I was more under control, but I was so fucking raw right now. “Just wait until I get inside.”
“Yeah. Okay,” Will agreed.
The cops came out ten minutes later. As they passed me, I lowered my window. “I’m finishing this call, grabbing some stuff, and heading to the farm.”
The woman who’d come to my window before nodded. “Okay. We’ll be ready. You know the drill.”
“Shit,” Will said as I pulled into the garage. “The threat’s not being blown out of proportion on the news, huh?”
I turned the engine off and went inside, my phone out and him on speaker. I took the stairs two at a time and tossed the phone on my bed as I grabbed my bag. “Fill me in on Stevie and everything else.”
“Uh. Okay.” His sarcasm was heavy. “Fuck’s sakes, Brett. I am your brother, you know?”
“Will, just—I can only handle so much right now. Peeling down a wall that’s been up for fucking ever can be handled at some other goddamn time, okay? I don’t have time for therapy. Tell me what’s going on.”
He started, and I listened as I packed.
I wanted to rip heads off when he was done. Shannon’s head. My head.
Will kept his tone matter of fact. He was getting through this so I had the information, and we’d both handle it our own way once we were off the phone.
“We’re pursuing charges for the cases that we still can, which is all but a few.”
That alone made me ache, because some limitations were a year, some were three, and some others were five.
“Jesus Christ.”
He sighed. “I know, brother. I know.”
“What can I do to help?”
“The game is in a little over a week. The girls are excited to see you. Your person reached out today about the tickets, so they’re over the moon. It was a good day in our household, and Brett, we needed a good day.”
I felt scraped clean from the inside out. “Yeah.”
The bag was packed. I’d grabbed what Billie would need, because I knew she had forgotten some stuff. She was in the habit of leaving her phone charger lately, and she liked chocolate. I’d grab some from the freezer. I’d started keeping it on hand for her.
I stood in the bedroom, knowing it wasn’t just mine anymore. It was ours, and I ached.
I ached for my niece and my goddaughter, because Shannon had had her at a time when she’d wanted to be close to me.
I ached for Will and his family, for his wife who’d taken on our nieces and nephews and was championing this fight for them.
I ached for Georgie, because we’d not even begun to understand how Shannon had hurt him.
I ached for Sammy, because I knew she was missing her mom. She was confused and having a good time, but also still missing her mom.
And I ached for Billie, because goddamn, how much more did she need to take?
“You okay?” Will’s tone went low.
So did mine. “I will be.”
“Listen, good news is that lawyers are pushing so Shannon can’t get any visitation right now.”
“Yeah?” I was having a hard time holding my shit together, and I was pretty sure Will knew, because he kept speaking in that low tone, cautiously.
“I’m not a complete dick,” he continued. “I know Sammy and Georgie, maybe, would still like to see their mom, but in light of Stevie’s revelations, they’re sure the judge will grant them what they’re asking. Her lawyers will go crazy, but it’ll be good in the long run. I also talked to Monroe.”
That helped clear through some of the pounding need for violence pushing in on me. “Channing?”
“Your guy, yeah. I gave him a tiny rundown on what’s going on, and he said a buddy of his could reach out. He thinks an investigation might be launched into Shannon, to see what she neglected to do et cetera. His buddy could help us prepare for what that might look like.”
“Stevie needs to go to therapy.”
He got quiet again. “I know.” His voice went a bit hoarse. “We might need help with that—”
“I’ll pay for it all. I don’t give a fuck.”
“No, I meant that you’ve had a longer relationship with her. She’s your goddaughter. A conversation between you two might help her be okay seeing a therapist. Right now, she’s closed to that option.”
“How closed?”
“She’s not even acknowledging there’s a door. She just keeps circling the basement, pretending she’s already outside and everything is sunshine.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to her.”
“That’ll be helpful, and we can see how insurance pans out. If we need help with those bills, I’ll reach out. Lawyer bills are expensive.”
I snorted. “No shit. Really?”
He cursed, but I heard a smile in his voice. “Don’t be a dumbass.”
“Noted.”
He bit out a laugh. “Go take care of your woman.”
“On it.” I picked up the bag and headed back downstairs.
“And Brett?”
“Yeah?”
“Be safe.”
I paused before grabbing the door handle for the garage. “Always.”
I ended the call, stuffing my phone in my pocket, but before getting in my truck, I went back for the chocolate.
The aftermath of being told they caught the killer.
“That’d be wonderful. Thank you. I’ll be over shortly.” He tugged me back inside before locking the door, then took me back into the bedroom.
I sat on the edge of the bed as he shut the bedroom door. The space was small, but I liked the cramped quarters. When Brett started sleeping here, it seemed almost too cramped. His body filled the room, his presence in every corner. Now it felt like his room. Our room.
It’d become my favorite room, but then we’d switched to his place, where there was so much more space.
I watched as he had to duck a bit to stand in front of me, and I started laughing. “Think I need to get a bigger place.”
His eyes flashed, but he put a hand to my chest and pushed me lightly down on the bed. He came with me, lying over me, looking down.
I sighed, my fingers sliding up through his hair, but I didn’t pull him down to me. I knew he was waiting for me to react, but I avoided his gaze. I focused on his beard. He’d trimmed it again, but it would need another slight trim on Saturday.
I almost loved it more when he let it grow out wild and free. I couldn’t wait for playoffs.
“You going to fill me in on what’s going on in here?” His thumb rubbed over my forehead.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m thinking. Or, I’m thinking about you. I like this.” I touched his beard, sliding my fingers through it.
His eyes closed briefly. He liked that sensation. “And what’s that thinking covering up?” he asked. “You need to talk about what the detective came to say?”
I probably did. “It seems abrupt, but I was thinking earlier, that’s probably how it feels for most people. You just wait and wait until that knock comes on the door. Or sometimes that knock doesn’t come.”
He nodded. “Not this time. You got the knock.”
I whispered, my throat swelling, “I got the knock.”
He bent his head, his mouth finding the corner of mine. “If everything he says is true, he probably was the guy. All that evidence. Seems like a lot if it wasn’t him.”
“Yeah.” My chest felt lighter. A knot had unfurled in my gut, one I hadn’t known was there. It felt like it’d been there for months.
Brett moved his mouth to graze over my throat. “How long does breakfast take?” He moved his hips over me, settling between my legs and moving against me.
I closed my eyes at the contact, desire rising in me, pushing all the other emotions aside. “We have five minutes. I’m sure the coffee’s already done and the first round of toast and eggs.”
“Damn.” His mouth twitched up in a grin. “She doesn’t mess around, huh?”
“She doesn’t mess around with food.”
“Got it.” His eyes burned into mine, and I got lost there a moment, slipping through his gaze, seeing the swirl of colors. Dark beams. A ray of light. Some green in the orbs. They all fit together into a masterpiece. Farther into him, I could see a twinge of concern, my desire mirrored, and also some caution and some sadness.
My hand flattened to cup the side of his face. “Why are you sad?”
He tensed against me before making his body relax again. “You can see that?”
“I see you.”
His eyes flashed, growing molten before softening again. Growing tender. “You told me you were falling in love with me.”
My chest immobilized. “That’s why you’re sad?”
His eyes widened. “No! God, no. I’m sad about my family stuff.”
“Oh.”
“But I want to go back to when you told me you were falling in love with me.”
I held my breath.
His thumb swept over my cheek. He seemed to be struggling with something, though. He blinked suddenly and the tenderness grew a little guarded.
That hurt.
“I want to say the words back because same.” He breathed out that last word, his lips touching mine.
I could’ve closed my eyes and convinced myself I’d imagined that touch. But he whispered there, so I knew it was true. “I can’t say the words, not yet, but I’m there with you. Same, Billie. What you’re feeling I’m feeling. Same.”
Same.
That’s what he could give me right now.
Same.
I waited, filtering through my response until a warmth spread over me, like a blanket. I was okay with same. After everything, I was more than okay with same, for now.
I framed his face with my hands and fused my mouth to his. “Same,” I told him.
He laughed abruptly, deepening the kiss.
We weren’t quite five minutes, but I was breathless when we went over for breakfast.
Vicky and Howard had knowing looks on their faces, and that breakfast hit different than any other.
It was hella delicious.
Some fun texting.
Brett: Is this also the time I should let you know that I might be having feelings that are more than just like for you?
My heart fluttered, and just like that, the coldness was gone. I was warm all over.
Me: I’d say that I’m feeling the same.
Brett: Good. Let’s explore these feelings tonight.
Me: That’s a plan.
Me: But after Lo leaves, because I have a feeling she’s staying for supper.
Brett: The firm let her take a day off?
Me: I think she took a leave of absence, until everything is done.
Brett: Dang. Okay. I’ll text later. Gotta go.
Me: Bye.
My heart fluttered, and just like that, the coldness was gone. I was warm all over.
Me: I’d say that I’m feeling the same.
Brett: Good. Let’s explore these feelings tonight.
Me: That’s a plan.
Me: But after Lo leaves, because I have a feeling she’s staying for supper.
Brett: The firm let her take a day off?
Me: I think she took a leave of absence, until everything is done.
Brett: Dang. Okay. I’ll text later. Gotta go.
Me: Bye.
Some sexiness.
He strolled away, whistling, flashing me a wicked grin, and I started laughing. God. He looked so good, even walking away.
I shook my head, clearing my mind, and focused on the task at hand.
I showered quickly and hurried out to hunt for all my clothes.
Brett strolled back in, but I ignored him, picking up my panties.
“Nope.” He took them out of my hand and turned me around to see a pile of clothes he’d placed on his dresser, including more of my underwear.
“What?”
“Nope.” He shook his head, giving me a smirk. “Get a new pair.”
“What’s wrong with those?” They were clean. I’d just finished getting ready before he came home, so they’d really only been on me for thirty minutes.
But my question died in my throat as he pulled on some jeans that fit exactly right and hugged his athletic form. He pushed my panties into his pocket. A gargling sound left me, and I pointed at them.
He chuckled. “Like I said, get a new pair, Harm.”
I glared. “What’s with the last name? I’m not your teammate.”
His eyes flashed at me. “You’re standing in my room, hair wet, body still damp, and I can smell you. I’m trying to remind myself not to forget what your family needs—what is obviously something important—and throw you back on that bed.” His voice dropped, vibrating through me. “I’ve been inside of you. That means I know how that feels, how you feel, how you taste, and I got a taste.” He moved in close, his chest brushing against mine. “And a part of me is going insane at the thought that I gotta walk out there with you beside me, instead of just continuing to make you mine.”
Oh boy.
He lowered his head, his lips now moving against my throat. “Over and over again until you won’t be able to walk without feeling me inside of you.”
I reached for his stomach. I just needed to touch him. I needed to steady myself. I looked up at him, gulping.
“Get dressed. I’ll be in the vehicle.”
He grabbed something and was out of the room within a second.
I almost stumbled forward from the loss of him. I needed to regroup.
Holy shit. Brett Broudou. Me. God.
I didn’t dare look at the bed. There was a burning inside of my body—that was him. He’d put that there and had been stoking it over the last month. He’d finally let it blast into a bonfire, but now it was threatening to burn down the whole neighborhood. And he wasn’t tending to it like he should’ve been!
Okay. That was irrational.
Family.
I mean, Vicky and Howard. Something important.
Scary.
The fire died down a bit.
I gulped again and hurried to finish dressing.
And I grabbed a new pair of panties.
I shook my head, clearing my mind, and focused on the task at hand.
I showered quickly and hurried out to hunt for all my clothes.
Brett strolled back in, but I ignored him, picking up my panties.
“Nope.” He took them out of my hand and turned me around to see a pile of clothes he’d placed on his dresser, including more of my underwear.
“What?”
“Nope.” He shook his head, giving me a smirk. “Get a new pair.”
“What’s wrong with those?” They were clean. I’d just finished getting ready before he came home, so they’d really only been on me for thirty minutes.
But my question died in my throat as he pulled on some jeans that fit exactly right and hugged his athletic form. He pushed my panties into his pocket. A gargling sound left me, and I pointed at them.
He chuckled. “Like I said, get a new pair, Harm.”
I glared. “What’s with the last name? I’m not your teammate.”
His eyes flashed at me. “You’re standing in my room, hair wet, body still damp, and I can smell you. I’m trying to remind myself not to forget what your family needs—what is obviously something important—and throw you back on that bed.” His voice dropped, vibrating through me. “I’ve been inside of you. That means I know how that feels, how you feel, how you taste, and I got a taste.” He moved in close, his chest brushing against mine. “And a part of me is going insane at the thought that I gotta walk out there with you beside me, instead of just continuing to make you mine.”
Oh boy.
He lowered his head, his lips now moving against my throat. “Over and over again until you won’t be able to walk without feeling me inside of you.”
I reached for his stomach. I just needed to touch him. I needed to steady myself. I looked up at him, gulping.
“Get dressed. I’ll be in the vehicle.”
He grabbed something and was out of the room within a second.
I almost stumbled forward from the loss of him. I needed to regroup.
Holy shit. Brett Broudou. Me. God.
I didn’t dare look at the bed. There was a burning inside of my body—that was him. He’d put that there and had been stoking it over the last month. He’d finally let it blast into a bonfire, but now it was threatening to burn down the whole neighborhood. And he wasn’t tending to it like he should’ve been!
Okay. That was irrational.
Family.
I mean, Vicky and Howard. Something important.
Scary.
The fire died down a bit.
I gulped again and hurried to finish dressing.
And I grabbed a new pair of panties.