CHAPTER FIVE


I'd never been to prom. Lives of runaways don't slot that party in among the
too many balls and banquets. Not to mention, there were just too many gowns to
choose from. Should I steal the pastel pink chiffon or perhaps the strapless
yellow with the beaded corset? Or maybe the simple black was sexy enough for
that traditional bang in a limousine?


The closest I'd gotten to Prom was hearing wistful stories around a bonfire a
few nights. I caught a few prom parties in the restaurants as the limousine
waited for them in the parking lot. They'd been easy marks for pick-pocketing.
The girls were left alone, but the guys were loaded with whiskey canteens and
rolls of money.


Since Cherry had always wanted to go, but it'd been one of those dreams she'd
forgone to raise her son, I tried to treat her to a movie from some of their
money. She usually glowed since movies were a rare treat.


Sometimes I tried to wonder what it would've been like, but that always
proved pointless. I'd left when I was twelve. Sixth grade wasn't a predictor how
junior and high school would've ended.


I was fat when I left, but I lost the weight. Would've I have been pretty
enough for the popular crowd? Would've I have still lost the weight? Maybe I
would've crumbled under the pressure and beaten Cherry in the too-young
pregnancy contest.


Maybe I would've ended as one of Cora's 'victims' as I thought I was friends
with such a cool beautiful world-wise person only to realize my money
continuously disembarked from my wallet month after month.


Maybe. Maybe not.


As I walked from the subway, I saw the expensive gowns and tuxedos as they
loitered the streets of Manhattan just outside Carter's grandiose living room.
And as I looked at them, I wondered again what my life might've been if I'd
stayed home and gone to school. If I'd attended Prom, because I doubted this
ball, even clad in a slinky chocolate brown dress that wrapped around my slender
form, had the same agenda that Prom would've had.


I wasn't there to party, drink, and get laid.


I'd like to think that's how I would've been if I'd gone to Prom. I'd like to
think I would've been there to have fun and not caught up in society's frowns
and nods.


I would've liked to think that I would've been one of those girls who just
has fun. Friends with everyone. Talks to anyone. And chased by the worthy.


I faltered in my stride as I saw Carter emerge from a limousine. He held his
hand out and a stunning blonde, clad in a sheer white gown that glittered purple
and pink if caught in the moonlight, climbed out from behind him. She laughed
and glowed and she kissed his cheek.


I saw why Carter Sethlers had fallen for Mandy Matthews.


And then I saw their accompanying couple.


Tray Evans rounded the limousine and held a hand for his own lover.


Taryn Matthews.


I'd heard of Evans, but never witnessed with my own eyes. He stood with a
confidence and air of authority that only someone like Taryn could've matched
and respected. He moved with an intelligence that proved all the whispered
gossip true. He'd led Rawley, kept the drug-trafficing out, and reigned supreme
over his school, town, and loved ones.


I didn't need to be closer to know his hazel eyes, plump lips, and
sandy-brown hair allowed for instant teetering knees of any female in the
vicinity.


If he'd been crowned King of Rawley, then Taryn Matthews only accentuated the
coupled throne below them both.


I had thought Mandy Matthews was stunning, but she paled next to her sister.
And I realized why both Lansers had fallen in love. Intelligent, badass, and a
body that screamed sex, Taryn Matthews lived and succeeded any infamous and
famous reputation that followed in her trail.


She wore the lightest of light pink dresses that only reflected depth as the
eye studied from differing angles.


A metaphor for the woman herself.


No. As I looked at the group of four, the depth of friendship obvious to a
naked bystander, I knew they would've been the popular kids in school. I
wouldn't have measured to them and instead I might've been a wallflower warming
my own delusions of self-worth and grandeur.


Cherry would've sighed in kindhearted jealousy if she stood beside me, among
the loneliness of a rushing New York City street. She would've wanted to be
their friend and a part of their family camaraderie.


I remembered my place and forgot the whispered façade of high school
memories. I felt the coldness of a con seep within once again and took a breath
before I dialed Carter Sethler's best friend's phone number, as programmed in
his speed-dial.


I saw Tray Evan reach inside his left pocket and heard him answer, "Who the
fuck is this?'


Intelligent, harsh, and a voice that could be used as whiplash.


"I'm sorry." I murmured, self-consciously, "I have this phone and I don't
know who's it is. I was wondering if you could tell me…?"


I watched as Evans relax before he handed the phone to Carter.


"Hello?" Carter frowned into the New York's night.


"Your best friend's smart." I murmured as a greeting.


Carter quickly separated from his friends and asked, "What are you doing? Why
are you calling my friend's phone?"


"Because I'm calling from your phone."


I heard his sudden intake of breath. Irritated.


I added, "You didn't even know I took your phone, did you?"


He hadn't, but I saw he wouldn't admit that.


I ignored his reaction and said instead, "Look. Instead of having me test
your good-nature, I'm just down the street. I can walk in with your
friends."


Carter jerked around until he spotted me. I saw the resignation settle over
his shoulders before he jerked his head in an accepting nod.


"Fine." He clipped out and hung up.


When I approached, I met a new Carter Sethlers. It was one I would've enjoyed
much more had I met outside the gambling room and a debt's environment. He oozed
confidence, cockiness, and a level of flirting that wasn't too scandalous but
warmed enough breathless lungs.


He threw an arm around my waist and introduced me, "Guys, this is that girl I
was telling you about. She's a counselor at the Hope Center. Maya Constance,
this is Mandy, Taryn, and Tray. These guys are kinda my family."


Mandy's eyes had narrowed when Carter had first slipped an arm around my
waist, but her entire body changed the instant he mentioned the Hope Center. She
came alive and bustled out, "Oh my gosh. I'm Mandy Matthews. I hope to intern at
the Hope Center. We have to get to know each other better tonight."


Taryn had watched the entire exchange, frowned once, but said warmly, "Hi.
I'm Taryn."


Her hands were warm also, but I saw Tray slip his own into his pockets and
wondered if he'd been keeping them warm, hidden from a curious eye.


He nodded once and turned away to watch our surroundings.


As Carter and Mandy talked more about the Hope Center and I answered some
questions, I watched as Tray perused again the street and alleys that surrounded
the Eastley Grand Park Ballroom.


I saw his eyes linger on a few shadows and felt an awakening recognition. He
watched for those that watched them.


I understood. I'd been on both sides of that fence.


Taryn shot a frown underneath her eyelids, but she turned back and caught my
stare.


"You look familiar." She murmured with a practiced tilt of her head to the
side. It distracted whoever she talked with, and I recognized that movement as
much as Tray's watchful gaze.


"Ever been to Hope Center?" I asked easily, but I watched what wasn't being
said.


Even after four years, they were still on edge after their part in Jace's
take-down. Jace ran everything behind the wheel, but Taryn's curiosity and
vengeance for revenge against whoever had killed her ex-boyfriend had really
tipped the scale to Galverson's death's arrival.


And from the way I heard it, Evans had personal knowledge about Galverson's
entire operation. His father had been Galverson's other number two out of
country and Tray had been the little punk who'd said no to the druglord when
he'd been asked if he wanted a job similar to his father's.


Tray had declined and kept enough blackmail material on the druglord to
ensure his livelihood. Taryn had enlisted his help and the two found themselves
at Jace's mercy when he'd gunned down Galverson instead of the duo.


I saw a mirrored reflection of survival as I glimpsed Taryn and Tray.


I'd been there and still visited upon a time.


A person acquires a harsh edge when they're surviving life. I saw that edge
as I watched Tray Evans make sure none of the shadows were there for them. Taryn
hadn't acquired the same edge and I wondered how aware of their precarious
situation that she was.


My hunch told me that Tray Evans worried on his own and kept his mouth
shut.


I also saw the hooded glance that Mandy shot his way and I registered the
caution she held as her eyes lingered on the hand that had risen to grip Taryn's
elbow.


The two sisters caught and shared a glance.


Taryn seemed to remember me because she said, "No. I can't say that I have
been to Hope Center."


Mandy asked brightly, "Maybe we should go in? I know that I'm freezing out
here." A mock shiver helped her mission and everyone moved to join the slight
crowd that had congregated at the doors.


I found Carter at my elbow and asked, "Do you have what I came for? If you
do, I can leave."


Carter located Mandy first before he whispered back, "You know I haven't had
the time to get the money together. I will."


"Good."


"How long are you going to be around?"


"Until you get the money so you better think of some good lies to explain why
I'm staying at your place tonight."


"What? You never said anything about that."


A shrug wouldn't have matched the décor my body inhabited, but I managed to
say coolly, "Your debt is past due and we both know you've got some very wealthy
family and friends. Any moment you decide to explain away with a lie is on your
conscience. You are making the decision to lie when you don't have to."


Carter didn't have a comment so he shrugged off my unrestraining hand as he
moved to his girl's side. Mandy smiled a blinding smile in greeting as he
slipped his hand into hers and leaned close for a kiss to the cheek.


Taryn watched in amusement on Mandy's other side.


"If you're really here to try your hand at Carter, you're fighting a loser's
battle. You know that, right?"


Tray had materialized at my elbow and his insights didn't astound me.


I remarked, "He's a boy that's in love. I didn't see it until now, but I do
now."


A con was flexible when the need arose. Tray Evans saw through the first lie
so he needed to buy the second lie.


He did.


"Don't let Taryn know that you're gunning for Carter. She'll flay you alive
if she knew that."


"And I won't tell her that you weren't just checking the scenery
outside."


Tray jerked back to me and watched me. His too-keen eyes now studied me
again.


I added, "Because I'm pretty sure the two homeless guys in the alley weren't
what you were looking for."


Tray frowned and I had the legend biting my bait.


"You're a bit too smart for a counselor." Tray mused.


I grinned and said, "A counselor that works at the Hope Center? You don't
think I've seen the ugly side of life a few too many times? Please. I'm not
naïve."


And I'd just intertwined lie number one with number two.


I pressed, "Even if I do think Carter's pretty hot, I knew the second he
learned that I worked at Hope Center that he wasn't excited for me or him. It
didn't take a genius to realize he had a girl. I can live with that. It got me a
free ticket to this shindig."


"Is that why you stole his phone and called me?"


Tray Evans really was too bright for his own good. He'd be lethal on the
law's side.


I quirked an eyebrow and said smoothly, "Well…a girl's got to try, can't
she?"


To this, Tray lifted a lazy shoulder in response.


Yes. A girl had to try.


"You're kinda cool." Tray remarked. "For your life, stay away from
Carter."


"Oh—and should I content myself with your presence for company? I'd doubt
that your girlfriend would like that any more."


Tray grinned, chuckled, and shook his head.


"You're alright." He murmured and I knew I'd just pass through a barrier that
I'd yet to realize the significance or magnitude.


"So you guys seem like great friends." I commented.


Tray nodded and thought about it for a moment. "We are. We've been
through….some harsh times, I guess you could say."


"Harsher."


"Yeah." He relaxed.


As I studied him, it surprised me when I realized that Tray Evans wasn't a
puzzle to me. A person rarely was. Equipped with intelligence that topped the
chart, he'd been granted a father who left a prestigious career as Chief of
Police and turned druglord assistant. Tray had the bravery and balls to stop his
father's descent to reign over to his life.


He was guarded and from all the publicity four years ago, it wasn't a
surprise that I knew he was testing me.


He was their protector. He hung back and checked my intentions to ensure I
was safe to be around them.


"I've been through a few myself." I noted softly and made sure to watch the
laughing three ahead with a twinge of jealousy when Tray glanced at me. That's
what I wanted him to see and I knew it would've tugged the heartstrings a
little. Enough.


"Huh."


"Taryn seems stunning."


And now I watched him as he looked her way. There was love, protection,
mysticism, and a hard edge that crossed across his hazel eyes.


"First girl to tell me to 'fuck off' and mean it." A grin tugged at his lips.
"She's…"


"She's good for you. Made you a better man." I supplied.


"Yeah. She's done that for me." He laughed ruefully. "I guess, if you knew me
before, I was not the greatest guy. I was a dick, actually, and—I don't
know—Taryn stopped that when we met."


"Oh, I think you still have it in you."


"Yeah." He relented in amusement. "But that's different. Taryn and Carter are
my family…" Surprise flashed across him as he looked at me in renewed
amazement.


I laughed. "I get that. People tell me things that they don't even realize
themselves."


"Part of the job, huh?" Tray shifted uncomfortably beside me.


I said firmly, "I get a sense of what goes on inside sometimes. I have to for
my job. And besides, trust me—I've been there myself. There's a part of you that
stops giving a rat's ass about anyone or anything except the ones who matter.
Life hands you some truly horrid people or events and…it changes someone. A part
of you is able and willing to do just about everything to protect those people
that are your life-rafts."


"Yeah." Tray blinked, dumbfounded.


I'd imagine Tray Evans was rarely dumbfounded.


He added softly, "Yeah, it's exactly like that."


I read between his cards and knew that Taryn Matthews had been his life-raft.
And as I glimpsed the slight questioning in her own eyes as she glanced over her
shoulder, as if to check on Tray, I knew that Tray Evans was her life-raft
too.


Taryn Matthews was no longer the girl afraid to know herself when I'd first
saw her. I saw the aged wisdom and patience that seemed to settle her. She'd
matured and fully knew who she was. And she was content with the good and
bad.


Her hand patted Mandy's shoulder in a comforting touch, but she gazed back at
Tray. Enraptured by what she read in his eyes that none other could witness.


I saw the brief shadow that crossed Mandy as she followed her sister's
gaze.


"It's kinda hard to miss the beef with Mandy." I stated and judged his
reaction. I might've stepped the boundary, but sometimes—you'd be surprised at
how much people wanted to talk to someone who'd just listen and not react.


"I know." Tray sighed in surrender. I rather thought the fight was with
himself rather than to share to a stranger.


He continued, "We used to be friends, but…shit happened. I don't give a
'rat's ass' as you put it, but it's hard on Taryn. You know, the whole boyfriend
and sister don't get along."


"What about Carter? It's his girlfriend and his best friend."


"Carter's Carter. If he cares, he doesn't show it." Tray remarked dryly.
"Sorry. Believe me, I don't talk like this—ever." He shook his head and moved a
step away.


I caught the significance and said softly, "I was like that too. I had a
brother who left home pretty young and parents who were never around. Sometimes
I used to think that words were empty, you know, but the truth was that I just
never knew what to say. Like what I could say to people and not have their
opinions change about me or something. A part of it was just because I didn't
want people to care about me or worry about me. That was just pride and it
nearly ended me. Sad, huh? It's just words and yet—I think it's sad when people
either don't respect words enough or they respect them too much."


Tray moved back, that one step, and he heard everything I'd just said.


He asked, lightly, "What about swear words?"


"What about 'em?" I laughed.


"Taryn and I are trying to cut down on the cursing. We used to be—awful." He
laughed.


I shook my head.


"Seriously, what about swear words? I mean, you're a therapist, right? Is
there special significance about swearing?"


The grin fell from my face and I said, "I think sometimes swear words are the
only words that really express the extra inside of us. They don't cheapen what's
inside of people, but they do alter how they're heard by other people." I shook
my head lightly and remarked, "None of those were theories from counseling.
Those were my theories, delivered from the steps of my life."


His eyes were thoughtful as he glanced downwards, but he said evenly, "Hope
Center's lucky to have you."


That was…oddly refreshing with a twinge of bitterness.


He added, simply, "For someone who's too young to be a counselor."


A twenty-one year old living the life of a forty-five year old.


I grinned, "You'd be surprised."


Carter held back at that moment and Tray switched places with him. It was
then that I realized the two guys kept by the girls' side. I was included in
their group, but girls take longer to warm up to the other so the two guys
separated. One by me and one by them.


Age old tradition of protection that cropped up in the littlest movements and
stances. Amazing, really.


"So…" Carter began. "I don't like you talking to my friends that much. The
two of you looked cozy, too cozy."


"So are you going to talk to me all night? Make sure I don't let it slip what
you owe me?"


Carter shrugged and replied, "Mandy really wants to talk to you, but she's
really nervous. It's the Hope Center thing. Could you be extra nice with
her?"


"Sethlers, I'm a nice person. Didn't you know?" My smile blinded. I knew
that.


"You're a con who knows what to say." Carter said curtly.


"That's hurtful."


"It's true."


I retorted, "Just because you're sore to lose 150 grand to me doesn't mean
that I'm a mean person. I rather think it says more about you than me, but I'm
not pointing fingers."


"Look, just…don't con my friends, alright? You don't want to mess with them
especially Taryn."


"You must think very little for your friends if you think I could con them or
that I would want to con them."


Carter rolled his eyes and shot back, "They're not exactly you."


I tilted my head. "Was that a compliment or an insult?"


He sighed in disgust and muttered, "You swim with meaner sharks than Tray and
Taryn, okay?"


"You're saying this about two people who got the drop on Galverson? That's
pretty amazing and a backward insult to your friends."


"Jace Lanser got the drop on Galverson. If he hadn't, I would've lost two of
my best friends four years ago. You come from that world and I don't want my
friends mixed up in that stuff again."


"So stop playing in my world and it won't leak to your friends." I countered
swiftly. Smoothly.


"That was a year ago."


"You've been losing money since you were thirteen. That's a lifestyle that I
highly doubt is behind you. There's a name for people like you, Sethlers.
They're called fools."


He rolled his eyes.


"I mean it." I said firmly and caught his arm. This was my compassionate side
that I rarely showed to someone like him. Carter Sethlers caught a break as I
gave him some words of wisdom that I didn't grasp from thin air. "If you don't
owe Marcus right now, you will in the future. He owns all the major players—or
sharks as they call 'em."


Shock filtered across him.


I ignored it and pressed, "If you're worried about me targeting your friends,
trust me—it's Marcus you should worry about. He'll find your weakness, which is
your girlfriend and your two best friends, and he'll use that. Your friends
don't know about Marcus. He cropped up after Galverson died. I don't think you
want them to know him."


Jace Lanser wasn't around to keep them alive this time. I thought it, but I
couldn't say it. I had enough respect for Carter and the rest to utter those
words.


I just hoped that Carter would listen to what he knew was right and wrong
inside of him. It was himself that he needed to worry about, if he could stop
ignoring the good insistence within himself.


"You guys." Taryn shouted. "Let's go."


They'd been waiting and from the looks of it, they'd been waiting for awhile.
And they'd witnessed our exchange. Taryn's eyes narrowed as they studied me, but
I saw a slight weariness that floated around Tray.


Mandy was bright-eyed and apprehensive.


Carter grinned cockily and yelled back, "I'm flirting here for Mandy's
future. Give a good-hearted boyfriend a break, huh?"


Mandy smiled just as brightly, but Taryn's suspiciousness never vanished. It
increased even more.


I sighed a little inside. I was now a blip on Taryn's radar. I had hoped to
slip by undetected, but I knew a cornered confrontation was in the future. I
just needed to know what I'd say.


They moved back and waited as Carter and I followed the line slowly to enter
through the doors. We'd stood back and let too many slip past us and now we
needed to wait again.


"You don't talk like them." Carter noted underneath his breath as his eyes
caught and held his girlfriend's. He flirted with her as he remarked to me, "You
just said 'what they call 'em.' You don't talk like them. That's weird."


I'd slipped, but I covered just as easily, "I told you I knew Marcus. When I
broke off from him, I needed to think differently."


"Makes sense."


As we moved inside and the crowd disembarked before us, I realized what
wasn't the truth in my words.


I didn't think differently, before or after Marcus. And I didn't think
differently because I'd never considered myself as one of them, but in some
ways—even though I wasn't a shark and could play as one, I still thought as a
player. Just a different player of a different game.


A part of me wondered briefly if that was inherited with the same genes of my
brother, if that was necessary for survival, or if part of myself enjoyed
finding the invisible puppet strings and pulling them.


I'd said it before. A con left you with coldness even if you were the one
who'd done the conning, but there was also a sense of exhilaration and rush that
left a taste for more inside of a person.


Some people could walk away from it and some couldn't.